Kelso's Choices--Conflict Resolution Lessons

In the months of April and May counseling lessons will focus on conflict resolution or solving problems. Students will learn skills to identify small/minor problems vs. big/major problems and how to resolve them in the most effective manner.

Students in grades K-4 will learn the difference between small problems: ones that cause us to feel angry, frustrated, annoyed, and sometimes sad, and big problems: ones that are dangerous or that cause us to feel nervous or worried. Students in grades 5-6 will identify the difference between minor problems and major problems. These problems cause similar feelings to small and big problems but are more specific/unique to older students. Students are taught to use how they feel about a problem to decide what strategies they can use to solve it.

All students will learn that small problems or minor problems can be solved on their own without asking for assistance from adults. Students learn 9 strategies/skills to solve small problems and the general rule of thumb is to try two of these 9 strategies before asking for an adult to help. Big or major problems require assistance from an adult right away.

Please see the parent letter below for more information about these problem solving skills that your child learned through their counseling lesson this month!

January Diversity Lessons

In the month of January I visited classrooms for lessons on Diversity.

When I talk about diversity with kids I like to go beyond celebrating our differences. I like to focus on how we treat others when they are different from us. My focus is on respecting others even when they are different from us and when we sometimes don't understand them.

In Kindergarten I brought in a brown egg and a white egg. Students brainstormed how these eggs are different on the outside. The list was rather limited--to color (brown and white), where they came from (different chickens produce different colored eggs) and sometimes their shape (my eggs were not congruent!). Then, we predicted what was the same about these eggs. Answers included: you can eat them, cook with them, they are both round, both have a shell, they both have yolk, and both come from chickens, etc.

Then, I cracked open the eggs. We looked at the insides, and students decided that though the eggs look different on the outside, they are the same on the inside! I took this farther and related it to us as people. Even though we all look different, sometimes some of us act different from each other, and we have different backgrounds (come from different places) we all have many similar wants: to be liked, to learn, to have fun, to be included, to have friends, to be treated with respect.



 

We read the book "This is the Dream" by Shane Shore & Jessica Alexander. Students learned that in our country's past different people weren't aloud to do things because of the color of their skin. Students were able to relate what we learned from the egg experiment to how far we have come in respecting other's differences.

1st graders evaluated how we are different and alike. Students then completed a worksheet all about them, to help them think about how they are unique and special, and would like to be included and accepted for who they are no matter what!

Second graders read the story: Red, A Crayon's Story. In this story, the crayon is labeled red, but he is actually blue. His friends, parents, and teachers try and help him color "red" but he can't do it, no matter how hard he presses or how many times he tries. Finally, one color asks him to color a blue ocean, and he realizes he's blue, and life is much easier for him. Students were able to identify that the other crayons were trying to make Red be someone he wasn't, simply because that's what his label said. We talked about how this is like judging a book by it's cover: we don't know who someone is until we get to know them. Who they are on the inside makes them who they are: not what they look like on the outside.





In 3rd grade we read the story Scribbleville. In this story, the town is called Scribbleville and all of the residents are "scribbly." There are no straight lines. However, a straight-lined man moves in and builds a straight lined house. The town members don't want him, and the story continues to grapple with whether or not they will run him out of town or accept him and allow him to stay. This story brings up many great conversations about accepting others when they are different from us. Students then completed an activity when they identified ways they are alike and different from a peer in class, to help them practice getting to know more about someone by having a relationship with them, not deciding what we think about someone simply by how they look.

In 4th and 5th grade students learned the definition to the words prejudice, stereotype, discrimination. They applied these definitions to different situations, such as "All tall people are smart" and "You dislike all people who wear braids." Students brainstormed ways that they might be "pre-judged" or what opinions others might form of them just by looking at them or their first impression. Examples included: "because I am tall people think I like basketball. I am a girl so people assume I like the color pink." One student said, "because I have white skin people think I am Caucasian, but I am part Hispanic."

Students then completed activities to help them learn how they are alike and different from others. Students in 5th grade learned about the iceberg analogy, that there differences that we see on the outside (tip of the iceberg), but much of what makes us who we are is on the inside, or below the surface, that we can't see unless we actually KNOW them: ask them questions, understand their experiences, and learn about their lives.



6th graders read the story "Let's Talk About Race." The main idea of this story is that we are much more than the color of our skin. Students then made collages of themselves to express who they are and what make them who they are (interests, family, life experiences, race, culture, religion). Please see some examples below of their projects.

November and December Lessons

In the month of November and December, my focus with students was mental well-being and coping strategies for stressful or overwhelming situations. Kindergartners and first graders learned how to belly breathe. We discussed using this strategy when they are experiencing a difficult emotion. We talked specifically about worry in these grades. Students learned when worry is helpful and when worry becomes excessive and can be harmful, and how to use deep breathing to calm ourselves. We used stuffed animals on our tummies as "breathing buddies" to help us focus on deep belly breathing.

Second graders learned what it means to be present and also practiced belly breathing. I have visited their classrooms a few more times with other calming strategies including a body scan, linked below, and using a color page as a way to calm down when feeling overwhelmed.

https://soundcloud.com/mindfulmagazine/body-scan-meditation-for-kids

Third graders learned how yoga poses can help us as a coping strategy. We practiced various yoga poses, focusing on paying attention to our breathing and not being distracted by thoughts and emotions, but rather being in control of our bodies, feelings and thoughts. We discussed different times we could use yoga poses in our lives, and many students identified that this may help them wind down before bed.

Fourth graders learned how gratitude can be a coping skill. We learned that gratitude can change our thinking about a situation that causes us a difficult emotion. Many students identified math and siblings as "stressors" in their lives. We talked about how changing our thinking from "math is hard" or "math is stressful" to "I'm grateful to learn math and stretch my thinking" or "I'm grateful for the opportunity learn new things." Students created a gratitude box to take with them to use as a coping strategy when they are needing a bit of a mindset change.

Fifth and Sixth graders each received a lesson on Mental Health First Aid, focusing on how to identify in ourselves and those we care about if they might be struggling emotionally and need someone to talk to. Students learned the acronym ACT: Acknowledge (the change in the person that might indicate that they are struggling), Care (share your concern with them), Tell (tell a trusted adult).