Talking to Kids about Tragedy

Below is an article from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. At the end are some other links including one to LS-R7's District's Parenting information.

Talking to Children about Community Violence

By David Fassler, M.D.

Once again, parents and teachers are faced with the challenge of discussing a tragic incident of community violence with children. Although these may be difficult conversations, they are also important. There are no "right" or "wrong" ways to talk with children about such traumatic events. However, here are some suggestions that may be helpful:

• Create an open and supportive environment where children know they can ask questions. At the same time, it's best not to force children to talk about things unless and until they're ready.
• Give children honest answers and information. Children will usually know, or eventually find out, if you're "making things up." It may affect their ability to trust you or your reassurances in the future.
• Use words and concepts children can understand. Gear your explanations to the child's age, language, and developmental level.
• Be prepared to repeat information and explanations several times. Some information may be hard for them to accept or understand. Asking the same question over and over may also be a way for a child to ask for reassurance.
• Acknowledge and validate the child's thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Let them know that you think their questions and concerns are important and appropriate.
• Remember that children tend to personalize situations. For example, they may worry about their own safety or the safety of friends and relatives, especially those who are away at college.
• Let children know that lots of people are helping the students, teachers, and families affected by the recent shootings.
• Children learn from watching their parents and teachers. They are very interested in how you respond to local and national events. They also learn from listening to your conversations with other adults.
• Don't let children watch too much television with frightening images. The repetition of such scenes can be disturbing and confusing.
• Children who have experienced trauma or losses in the past are particularly vulnerable to prolonged or intense reactions to news or images of violent incidents. These children may need extra support and attention.
• Children who are preoccupied with questions or concerns about safety should be evaluated by a trained and qualified mental health professional. Other signs that a child may need additional help include: ongoing sleep disturbances, intrusive thoughts or worries, recurring fears about death, leaving parents or going to school. If these behaviors persist, ask your child's pediatrician, family physician, or school counselor to help arrange an appropriate referral.
• Although parents and teachers may follow the news with close scrutiny, most children just want to be children. They may not want to think about or discuss violent events. They'd rather play ball, climb trees, or ride bikes.

Incidents of community violence are not easy for anyone to comprehend or accept. Understandably, some young children may feel frightened or confused. As parents, teachers, and caring adults, we can best help by listening and responding in an honest, consistent, and supportive manner.

Fortunately, most children -- even those exposed to trauma -- are quite resilient. However, by creating an open environment where they feel free to ask questions, we can help them cope with stressful events and experiences, and reduce the risk of lasting emotional difficulties.

David Fassler, M.D., is a child and adolescent psychiatrist practicing in Burlington, Vermont. He is also a clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Vermont College of Medicine.

More information about helping children cope with violence and trauma is available at:

http://www.nctsnet.org

and

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/tips/intervention.pdf*

*denotes Adobe PDF document

Click here for the free Adobe Reader for PDF documents

R-7 District Website... parenting information including some relavant topics can be found here:
http://www.lsr7.org/parents/parenting-information/

Bullying Lessons Continued!

I have recently finished guidance lessons in classrooms and I wanted to communicate with parents what I have focused on in the grade levels I visited in December.

In 4th Grade students reviewed what they already know about bullying. We focused on the role of the bystander in a bullying situation as a bystander's decision to stand up to the bully can be the #1 deterrent to bullying behavior. We watched a DVD, "Bullies are a Pain in the Brain" by Trevor Romain. This comical DVD shows the many different types of bullying and gives many proven strategies to stop and prevent bullying.



In 3rd Grade students created a T-chart to brain storm ways that bullying hurts "inside" (examples of non-physical bullying) and "outside" (examples of physical bullying). We discussed the definition of bullying and how it must contain three parts: 1) intentional, 2) repeated, 3) imbalance of power (unfair). Then we read the book "Lucy and the Bully" by Clair Alexander. Students were asked to listen for the three parts of the definition of bullying to help them decide if what was happening in the book was true bullying. Then students worked in groups with different scenarios and discussed if the situation they were assigned was bullying and what could have been done to stop the bullying from happening.



In 6th grade students worked through an interactive power point to discuss many topics relating to bullying including bullying statistics, different types of bullying (including cyber bullying), ways to prevent themselves from being seen as a target for bullying, and different statistics of bullies and targets. Students were introduced to a new documentary coming Spring 2013 called "bully." Students watched a preview for this movie and worked in groups to discuss important facts regarding "Empowering Bystanders" and "Internet Safe Strategies for Youth." Students shared with the class about their different topics. For more information about this documentary please visit here. For more resources regarding bullying, please visit here.


Lastly, please accept my sincerest wishes for a Happy Holiday Season! I look forward to welcoming students back after the new year!!!

Bullying Prevention

In the months of November and December I will be visiting classrooms to conduct bullying lessons. I have visited the following grade levels in the month of November. If you don't see your child's grade here, I will be  in their classroom in December!

In Kindergarten, we read "Hands are Not for Hitting" and discussed behavior that is considered bullying behavior. We discussed all the many ways we can use our hands (for learning, doing, helping, playing, and building) but NOT for hitting.



In 1st grade we created a T chart and brainstormed what we think bullying looks like and sounds like on one side, and how bulling feels on the other. Students used many amazing descriptions such as "it feels like lightening in your heart" and "bullying is bruises your insides, it hurts your insides like a bruise on your skin." Then we read the book "Bullies Never Win" and discussed various strategies to combat bulling. Students folded a paper heart every time they heard bulling in the book, and we discussed the lasting effect that bullying has on someone--another reason not to bully and to stand up to those we see being bullied.



In second grade we reviewed the definition of bullying: that bullying is hurtful or harmful behavior through words and actions, that it is intentional (on purpose), and that there is an imbalance of power (it is not peer/friend conflict). We discussed the three roles in a bullying situation--the bully, the target, and the bystander. Students watched a video to learn different strategies to combat bullying. We discussed especially the role of the bystander in bullying, and that a bystander has the most power in a bullying situation if they make the choice to stand up when they see bullying happening. In fact they have two choices--to do nothing or to stand up to the bully or get help on behalf of the target. Which choice would students make now that they know the power they have as a bystander?



In 5th grade students reviewed the definition of bullying and different types of bullying. Students watched a video "Gum in My Hair" which teaches many different strategies to handle a bully, including avoid, use words to stand up to a bully, improve body language/confidence, involve friends or adults to help, and sometimes YELL. Students also learned the difference between normal peer conflict and a true bullying situation.



Don't forget to check out the guidance schedule here to see when I will be visiting your child's classroom!!